There are couple of significant events I would like to share here.
One is from going over to N's house and other making our relationship stronger in an unexpected manner, with two side stories of my family going over to N's house and one bonus one.
Well, I was invited over to N's house for the second day of Eid lunch. There were N's family friends expected, and I was going to meet her dad for the first time. And, on top of that, I had heard that N's dad was just a crazy grouch. Most importantly, I had never been to any girl's parents house, especially not for a girl I am in love with! So a lot was riding on this invite. I was looking forward to the event, because I knew that I will get to learn more about her.
I had planned on getting flowers to the house, since it was the first time I was going over. However, considering the king of lateness that I am, I thought it would be more appropriate to just get a cake, to save time. I was expected to reach the house at 1:30, but I think, I got there at 1:40. My heart was racing to say the least. I bought a cake from the bakery, Sachals. It was a red velvet cake. I got to the house, rang the bell, and Abbass, this guy who works at N's place, opened the door and invited me in. From there on I was on auto-mode. I had no idea how to behave or what mannerisms worked best for the moment. I entered the house, which was well built, sharing a sense of N's family's view on life. The Drawing room was large, with a patio at the back where food was served. I entered the drawing room, and I was welcomed respectfully, with big ass smiles from N's parents. I was grateful to Almighty that the first stage of having no awkward moment while seeing her dad was over. I handed the cake over to the mom, and found myself a sofa to sit on, in the corner. N's mom introduced me to everyone in the room, as "He is with N..". I felt a sense of pride being associated with the love of my life, especially by her mom, like that. Pretty fucking cool, I would say. Anyways, I sat myself down, and took my cards folder out and took two cards out. One for the dad and the other for his friend. I stood up to hand my cards to them. I say with all my honesty, that I was shivering. I am not sure, if it was anxiety or just sheer exstacy of being in that moment, but it was a good place to be. The dad asked me what it was, and I said, my card. I thought it was obvious, but I guess, I was wrong. The dad's friend, who was friendly and well spoken, pointed out he could not read properly and I should read it out to him. I told him my name and what I did, and that I was with my dad's business while running my own IT company. I just wanted everyone to be proud of me, because I was a choice that N has made, and I just wanted to make her proud, and if it can be through me, then perfect.
Another family friend's family showed up, with a son, who seemed around the same age, with whom I hit off an interesting coversation. N had pointed out that she would flirt with the guy in front of me, as she knows it makes me incredibly jealous. And, she did! She hugged the guy in front of me, and just said hi to me. Oh well. I loved her, I knew I will be the one wooing her away so it did not matter much. But I was a little jealous I would say that. The dinner was served at the back, in a patio. There were plenty of options to choose from. I stuffed my plate with a piece of roasted chicken leg, and meatballs, and went back to have a conversation with the guy.
I forgot to mention. N had come to the room to say salams to everyone in the room. And, I just fell in love with her again. She was looking just so pretty, it was incredible. And later, her dad asked me, if I had a butcher that he can use services from the next day for his sacrifices. He said he had two goats, he wanted slaughtered. I called up my guy and I arranged the butcher for him in five minutes, which I am pretty proud of myself.
Well, to continue the story, after the lunch, I sat down with the dad and his friends, at which point a couple more families had joined in, for a little longer and then everyone left. After guests have left, I sat down with N and her best friend, of ten years, G. G was "G", I should say. She felt strongly about politics, and I think politics is important to bring social change in Pakistan, and to add on top of that, I have been a political and human rights activist, so to say the least we had an interesting short conversation. G seemed liked a good friend and a confidant. While, G was facing towards me, and we were talking, N started sucking on her middle finger, which was pretty fucking insane. In an amazing manner. I mean, she could do that, I was reminded, why I had fell in love with her. I mean, who does that? May be other chicks do, but she is pretty cool like that. I saw her for a second, and I could not look back. I was embarassed for a second, and wanted to laugh, but G had no idea what was happening around her. Finally, the smile broke through my lips, a slight one. I tried to make it seem like it was somehow connected to the conversation with G. However, the smile kept on getting bigger, and bigger. And, finally I just had to let it out, when G looked at N, and N was caught off guard. Poor G felt like we were laughing at her. She felt conscious about it. Oh well.
N's aunt showed up, I talked with her for a few minutes and then left the house. I was convinced yet again, that I had chosen an amazing girl for myself. On top of that, she came from a respectable family. And, her dad was pretty cool and humourous. I was gladly proven wrong.
The next day, I drove the butchers to N's place, at seven in the morning. I barely do anything at seven.
The other event I want to share is a positive one. I want everyone to read it in that context. N told me she had cheated on me. Shocker right? Honestly, I was expecting something was up. When you love someone, their smallest changes seem like the largest tidal waves. I could sense it. So, I was sad, hurt, felt vulnerable (and I never make myself vulnerable, ever. period.), but I wanted to be with N, nevertheless. N told me crying that she cheated on me. I consoled her. I told her, it is okay, and we will get through it together. I wanted to process things, so we got off the call. I took some time. Smoked a couple of bogies, meditated and tried to clear out my mind, so I can make a sense of how to move forward. I told her, it is okay, and thanked her for sharing it with me. I was clam. I was hurting and my trust had shattered but I knew both of thoes things will go away, with time. So, I asked her, if she wanted to be with me, and she said she did. So I put a couple of things forward to her, so I can help build my own trust and confidence. I asked her to reject all other proposals and stand for me infront of her stakeholders, after my parents put forward a formal proposal. And, the second thing was that she had to do things as I asked her (cruel? I know, but cheating is not a small matter too.). I also expected truth and honesty from her. I wanted to know she can put in effort for me. If she can be loyal and faithful to me, just as I wanted to be for her. I did not want to coerce her into anything, for that would defeat the purpose of being in love with someone. However, I wanted to satisfy my urge, that she was willing to do a few things for me, not because I expect them from her but because she wants to. After all, isnt this how you show love? By caring unconditionally, at any risk? Perhaps, its my romanticized world, but I wanted to know, I was not alone in this relationship. And, I am glad to say, N has lived up to all my expectations and at times broken them easily.
However, I would like to add, that being in an honest relationship is hard. It is too good at times, (MashAllah), that I start doubting it. So, even though I had willingly wanted to move forward, the event left an after taste. I started looking beyond words. I started thinking if I was still being cheated on. Every small move from N seemed like a conspiracy against me. Well, it was not all that dramatic, but very subtle, but I hope everyone gets my point. It was not easy trusting N again, and I realize why it is so important to value trust, especially in newly formed relationships, since trust does not have a switch where you can turn trust and confidence on and switch it off, whenever we do not want it. So, I realized that such an event can have its toll. However, I kept it all to myself, because I know and feel, that N is the most loving person in the world. She will remain loyal, understanding and loving, if she was assured she would get the same back. The guys she had encountered in the past where plain assholes. So I knew, it will take considerable effort from my side to make her trust me and realize that I meant well for N, in all my honesty, for she is the love of my life. I ignored all my doubts, and never let them effect me, at least to the extent I was conscious of. And, I can tell you from my experience, it has worked. My doubts have subsided. I feel loved. I trust N. I love N. I am glad, I can be the one to show her, that she deserves all the love in the world, and if a cheating on me is what it takes to believe my professed love for her, then might as well be right. I believe, the whole left from the event has been filled rather nicely. I can tell everyone, if you can honestly mend ways and want to patch up like a loving couple, despite everything, you can achieve it. I can tell you from experience.
The event does not affect us in any manner. At least, not any more. There are always doubts, but mind does play dirty tricks, and one needs to know their own mind, which I do with mine. But, I have conveyed to N in my honesty that we should make this event an isolated one in our lives, and such seconds just show a trend, which is not healthy in any relationship. N is amazing. I feel blessed, I am with her. We have much way before we reach to a point where we can say we understand each other, but we are getting there. We will get there in enough time.
Nevertheless, the next anecdote is when my mother, phopho, aunt, sister and cousin went over to N's place. I was anxious and grateful, that my family can go over. I drove my family there but I did not go, and it did not seem appropriate for the time. However, the interesting part of the event is after. My mother and aunt came back, they told me something, which made me proud. That, N was a great girl, and that we would be perfect for each other. It made me proud that the decision that I took, my family can see the value in the same. My mom and aunt pointed out that N had put enormous effort for them, and she was giving her best for them. I never realized that in love, the beloveds effort towards one can be such a pleasure. I wish I can put those words more eloquently. Everyone in my family was all praises for N, and it made me feel good.
Lastly, the bonus event is, yesterday, I went to see N. I have done this once before, and I love it. I mean, we cannot always see each other freely, for whatever reasons. So when N gets the time to go to her roof, I request her if I can come see her. So I drive up to her house, part in front, a little to the side, and get to see her. After days of not seeing her, even seeing her from afar is a beautiful sight. She looks just so beautiful that at times I get jealous of myself. She is the most beautiful girl I have seen in my entire life.
I am grateful to the Oneness for her, being in my life and making my life so much more beautiful.
One is from going over to N's house and other making our relationship stronger in an unexpected manner, with two side stories of my family going over to N's house and one bonus one.
Well, I was invited over to N's house for the second day of Eid lunch. There were N's family friends expected, and I was going to meet her dad for the first time. And, on top of that, I had heard that N's dad was just a crazy grouch. Most importantly, I had never been to any girl's parents house, especially not for a girl I am in love with! So a lot was riding on this invite. I was looking forward to the event, because I knew that I will get to learn more about her.
I had planned on getting flowers to the house, since it was the first time I was going over. However, considering the king of lateness that I am, I thought it would be more appropriate to just get a cake, to save time. I was expected to reach the house at 1:30, but I think, I got there at 1:40. My heart was racing to say the least. I bought a cake from the bakery, Sachals. It was a red velvet cake. I got to the house, rang the bell, and Abbass, this guy who works at N's place, opened the door and invited me in. From there on I was on auto-mode. I had no idea how to behave or what mannerisms worked best for the moment. I entered the house, which was well built, sharing a sense of N's family's view on life. The Drawing room was large, with a patio at the back where food was served. I entered the drawing room, and I was welcomed respectfully, with big ass smiles from N's parents. I was grateful to Almighty that the first stage of having no awkward moment while seeing her dad was over. I handed the cake over to the mom, and found myself a sofa to sit on, in the corner. N's mom introduced me to everyone in the room, as "He is with N..". I felt a sense of pride being associated with the love of my life, especially by her mom, like that. Pretty fucking cool, I would say. Anyways, I sat myself down, and took my cards folder out and took two cards out. One for the dad and the other for his friend. I stood up to hand my cards to them. I say with all my honesty, that I was shivering. I am not sure, if it was anxiety or just sheer exstacy of being in that moment, but it was a good place to be. The dad asked me what it was, and I said, my card. I thought it was obvious, but I guess, I was wrong. The dad's friend, who was friendly and well spoken, pointed out he could not read properly and I should read it out to him. I told him my name and what I did, and that I was with my dad's business while running my own IT company. I just wanted everyone to be proud of me, because I was a choice that N has made, and I just wanted to make her proud, and if it can be through me, then perfect.
Another family friend's family showed up, with a son, who seemed around the same age, with whom I hit off an interesting coversation. N had pointed out that she would flirt with the guy in front of me, as she knows it makes me incredibly jealous. And, she did! She hugged the guy in front of me, and just said hi to me. Oh well. I loved her, I knew I will be the one wooing her away so it did not matter much. But I was a little jealous I would say that. The dinner was served at the back, in a patio. There were plenty of options to choose from. I stuffed my plate with a piece of roasted chicken leg, and meatballs, and went back to have a conversation with the guy.
I forgot to mention. N had come to the room to say salams to everyone in the room. And, I just fell in love with her again. She was looking just so pretty, it was incredible. And later, her dad asked me, if I had a butcher that he can use services from the next day for his sacrifices. He said he had two goats, he wanted slaughtered. I called up my guy and I arranged the butcher for him in five minutes, which I am pretty proud of myself.
Well, to continue the story, after the lunch, I sat down with the dad and his friends, at which point a couple more families had joined in, for a little longer and then everyone left. After guests have left, I sat down with N and her best friend, of ten years, G. G was "G", I should say. She felt strongly about politics, and I think politics is important to bring social change in Pakistan, and to add on top of that, I have been a political and human rights activist, so to say the least we had an interesting short conversation. G seemed liked a good friend and a confidant. While, G was facing towards me, and we were talking, N started sucking on her middle finger, which was pretty fucking insane. In an amazing manner. I mean, she could do that, I was reminded, why I had fell in love with her. I mean, who does that? May be other chicks do, but she is pretty cool like that. I saw her for a second, and I could not look back. I was embarassed for a second, and wanted to laugh, but G had no idea what was happening around her. Finally, the smile broke through my lips, a slight one. I tried to make it seem like it was somehow connected to the conversation with G. However, the smile kept on getting bigger, and bigger. And, finally I just had to let it out, when G looked at N, and N was caught off guard. Poor G felt like we were laughing at her. She felt conscious about it. Oh well.
N's aunt showed up, I talked with her for a few minutes and then left the house. I was convinced yet again, that I had chosen an amazing girl for myself. On top of that, she came from a respectable family. And, her dad was pretty cool and humourous. I was gladly proven wrong.
The next day, I drove the butchers to N's place, at seven in the morning. I barely do anything at seven.
The other event I want to share is a positive one. I want everyone to read it in that context. N told me she had cheated on me. Shocker right? Honestly, I was expecting something was up. When you love someone, their smallest changes seem like the largest tidal waves. I could sense it. So, I was sad, hurt, felt vulnerable (and I never make myself vulnerable, ever. period.), but I wanted to be with N, nevertheless. N told me crying that she cheated on me. I consoled her. I told her, it is okay, and we will get through it together. I wanted to process things, so we got off the call. I took some time. Smoked a couple of bogies, meditated and tried to clear out my mind, so I can make a sense of how to move forward. I told her, it is okay, and thanked her for sharing it with me. I was clam. I was hurting and my trust had shattered but I knew both of thoes things will go away, with time. So, I asked her, if she wanted to be with me, and she said she did. So I put a couple of things forward to her, so I can help build my own trust and confidence. I asked her to reject all other proposals and stand for me infront of her stakeholders, after my parents put forward a formal proposal. And, the second thing was that she had to do things as I asked her (cruel? I know, but cheating is not a small matter too.). I also expected truth and honesty from her. I wanted to know she can put in effort for me. If she can be loyal and faithful to me, just as I wanted to be for her. I did not want to coerce her into anything, for that would defeat the purpose of being in love with someone. However, I wanted to satisfy my urge, that she was willing to do a few things for me, not because I expect them from her but because she wants to. After all, isnt this how you show love? By caring unconditionally, at any risk? Perhaps, its my romanticized world, but I wanted to know, I was not alone in this relationship. And, I am glad to say, N has lived up to all my expectations and at times broken them easily.
However, I would like to add, that being in an honest relationship is hard. It is too good at times, (MashAllah), that I start doubting it. So, even though I had willingly wanted to move forward, the event left an after taste. I started looking beyond words. I started thinking if I was still being cheated on. Every small move from N seemed like a conspiracy against me. Well, it was not all that dramatic, but very subtle, but I hope everyone gets my point. It was not easy trusting N again, and I realize why it is so important to value trust, especially in newly formed relationships, since trust does not have a switch where you can turn trust and confidence on and switch it off, whenever we do not want it. So, I realized that such an event can have its toll. However, I kept it all to myself, because I know and feel, that N is the most loving person in the world. She will remain loyal, understanding and loving, if she was assured she would get the same back. The guys she had encountered in the past where plain assholes. So I knew, it will take considerable effort from my side to make her trust me and realize that I meant well for N, in all my honesty, for she is the love of my life. I ignored all my doubts, and never let them effect me, at least to the extent I was conscious of. And, I can tell you from my experience, it has worked. My doubts have subsided. I feel loved. I trust N. I love N. I am glad, I can be the one to show her, that she deserves all the love in the world, and if a cheating on me is what it takes to believe my professed love for her, then might as well be right. I believe, the whole left from the event has been filled rather nicely. I can tell everyone, if you can honestly mend ways and want to patch up like a loving couple, despite everything, you can achieve it. I can tell you from experience.
The event does not affect us in any manner. At least, not any more. There are always doubts, but mind does play dirty tricks, and one needs to know their own mind, which I do with mine. But, I have conveyed to N in my honesty that we should make this event an isolated one in our lives, and such seconds just show a trend, which is not healthy in any relationship. N is amazing. I feel blessed, I am with her. We have much way before we reach to a point where we can say we understand each other, but we are getting there. We will get there in enough time.
Nevertheless, the next anecdote is when my mother, phopho, aunt, sister and cousin went over to N's place. I was anxious and grateful, that my family can go over. I drove my family there but I did not go, and it did not seem appropriate for the time. However, the interesting part of the event is after. My mother and aunt came back, they told me something, which made me proud. That, N was a great girl, and that we would be perfect for each other. It made me proud that the decision that I took, my family can see the value in the same. My mom and aunt pointed out that N had put enormous effort for them, and she was giving her best for them. I never realized that in love, the beloveds effort towards one can be such a pleasure. I wish I can put those words more eloquently. Everyone in my family was all praises for N, and it made me feel good.
Lastly, the bonus event is, yesterday, I went to see N. I have done this once before, and I love it. I mean, we cannot always see each other freely, for whatever reasons. So when N gets the time to go to her roof, I request her if I can come see her. So I drive up to her house, part in front, a little to the side, and get to see her. After days of not seeing her, even seeing her from afar is a beautiful sight. She looks just so beautiful that at times I get jealous of myself. She is the most beautiful girl I have seen in my entire life.
I am grateful to the Oneness for her, being in my life and making my life so much more beautiful.
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